Please read “Stop Putting Band-Aids Over Your Heart” first.
These are the steps that can help you heal the wounds of your heart.
Leave Denial, Enter into Surrender
You might be in the position that you are in because you want to think that everything’s ok. I mean, you have good days that must mean some progress right? But the first step to receiving healing is to acknowledge that you have undealt-with feelings. It is to realize that you have open wounds that need to be mended. It is to admit that someone has hurt you.
And even if your anger is directed towards God, you must admit that to God. You have to take off your mask and tell God – “when you allowed that to happen, it hurt! I’m frustrated. I don’t understand why.” This acknowledgment isn’t for Him, He already knows your most inner thoughts – it’s for you!
“You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.” Psalm 139:2
When you admit that you have pain, you can deal with it head on. When you enter a state of full surrender you can only then begin to take the next steps. Full surrender – admitting that you are unable to move past this on your own but that the power of the Almighty God can carry you to victory.
“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you..” James 4:8
“In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.” Psalm 18:6
Find an Accountability Partner/Minister
I am a big believer in transparency & accountability. I truly believe if all Christians would have these two qualities we would eliminate many sins and struggles from our congregations. This is one of the most important steps in your walk towards healing. You need someone who would be able to intercede to the Father on your behalf. Someone who can walk with you through every clump of pain and help you bring it to the Altar. Someone who can pray for you and with you.
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
Preferably this should be a minister or a person who has a faithful relationship with the Lord, and who is trustworthy. You shouldn’t choose a person who you see on a daily basis or a peer.
We are the body of Christ and just as the eyes guide the feet where to walk, so should we assist each other on our journeys.
Pray that the Lord directs you to this person and you will be amazed at the way that He does.
Approach the Throne of Grace
And thus the most important step to receive healing.
“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:16
Ultimately, the only One who can heal your heart is the One who created it. Anything outside of God that you turn to for healing will only temporary hide your wound, but only God himself can replace your burden with love, joy & peace! Bring your burden and lay it at Jesus’ feet and in return pick up his grace and his love.
You might be wondering why can’t you just skip all the steps and start here. I believe healing is a process, not a one-moment thing. Can God heal you in one moment? Absolutely! But just like getting off an addiction can take someone a few steps, so is with forgiving and moving forward.
For some this step might take a few minutes for others, like me, it can take weeks.
In my personal experience, I spent time in God’s presence every day. I searched for the scripture verses that convinced my mind that God is good, that I can trust Him, and that He understands me. Somewhere along the path, your burden silences these truths and soaks is lies of the Devil. I had to filter those lies out in order confidently approach God’s throne.
If you are at this step but you’re still doubting these truths about your heavenly Father, you must return to the previous steps and meditate there.
Take the time to gain the confidence – by searching out the Scripture – to approach God’s throne of grace.
I know there will be people who read this and in their minds think that I am overcomplicating this process. Can’t you just come to God and have joy? If your experience is such, Praise God! But I speak from what I have been through and until I followed these steps thoroughly I found myself in that cycle each and every time.
I received full healing only when I got rid of all that package and moved forward by the grace of God.
How do I know that I have healed?
When I see the person that caused me that pain, I love them. Remembering those moments doesn’t hurt. I know I have healed because it has become my testimony that I want to share with other people to guide them along to the same place I am in now. It is in the light and Satan can’t use it against me! When someone talks about grudges or soul wounds my mind doesn’t go to those events rather my mind rejoices in God’s mercy and His grace. I know I am fully healed because I am not a victim – I am victorious! I don’t act in a disrespectful way towards my husband because “well you know what I’ve been through” rather I want to honor him and submit to him because of “what I’ve walked out of”. I want to cultivate the relationships I have and invest in them even if I don’t receive anything in return and even if I get stabbed in the back because there are no scabs that could be picked at.
And when I receive a new scar – I know Who to go to! I know Who has my best interest in mind. I know that I can boldly go to the throne of grace and exchange my heaviness for peace that passes all understanding! I know that because I have lived it.
And because I lived it I can testify to you, my friend, that you can live it too! You can be free from anger and bitterness. You can look back at your past and smile because you know you are no longer there. You are a whole different person. You’ve entered into a greater level of intimacy with your Lord.
Don’t let that event or that person dictate the rest of your life. Don’t give them the wheel to your destiny!
Give your pain over to the Healer who knows every cell of your soul.