This topic is very familiar to my heart.
Due to certain events in my life, my soul has visited dark places before. (Not literal) Places I would rather not speak about or remember… if it weren’t for the healing I received. But about that later.
As I continue my life journey I often meet people in my life who are in those places aswell. They got there for different reasons.
They have been hurt by a loved one. They have “daddy issues”. Their pastor took their private confession to the public. They have been molested or raped by a close family relative or friend. They watched their mother physically abused. They never “fit in”. They were made fun of for their weight. They lost a loved one to a nasty battle with cancer. They struggle with an illness. They lost a child. A man broke their heart. A girlfriend cheated on them. A church “clique” made fun of them. They were ridiculed, gossiped about, lied to, betrayed… and the list goes on and on.
I’ve witnessed many of these broken souls suffer from the weight of the wound in their heart.
If you are reading this post and something is tugging at you… I’d like to take a moment of your time to speak to your heart.
You probably pondered on that event in your life over and over again. You’ve battled about it on your knees many nights and you thought you won. You thought you’ve forgiven and let it go. You tried a clean slate – moved to a different state, different church, a different group of friends. You attended a Bible School, went on a missionary trip, served in a soup kitchen. You got married, had children, got a career, made lots of money, got yourself the car that you wanted…
You thought to yourself, “If only I can silence these thoughts and get rid of these feelings – I’ll be totally fine.”
And with each new endeavor you shoved that event deep down, somewhere where it was supposed to diminish.
Except, it didn’t.
Every small betrayal opens a gate of excruciating pain. The blame, the guilt, the “if only’s” flood your mind like crashing waves.
You give up fighting it and simply become numb or worse, bitter.
Once in a while, you hear a great sermon on forgiveness and make a choice to pick up that battle again.
Only to find yourself in the same dark corner the next time a shadow of your past appears.
I was there.
I recall sitting in a stadium filled with hundreds of people as Chris August presented his song “7X70”. I slouched down in my seat so that none of my friends would notice me and I fought back the stabbing of those words to my heart.
“Just when I’m s’posed to be learning to love
you let me doubt again”
They broke through my walls and made me hurt again. I recalled those events over and over again in my mind. The questions, the pain, and the misery that came attached to that burden knocked me off my guard and I began to weep.
“7 times 70 times
I’ll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way”
That night when I came home I decided it was time to surrender and make this a cycle of the past.
With a help of an accountability partner/minister, I was able to walk through the pain and leave it at Jesus’ feet.
If you related to any part of this post, I beg you to seek to heal. Don’t just put temporary band-aids over your wounds. The scar will always remain there. And just like anything that isn’t timely tended to begins to rot and stink – so does this condition.
It will affect all your relationship. Your constant state of peace. Your motherhood methods. Your relationship with your heavenly Father! It will TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE if you do not HEAL from it!
“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved” (Psalm 55:22).
Friend, if I can just plead with you to not let another day go by with this pain.
You will only be able to live to your full potential today when you break the chains that hold you to your yesterday.
There is healing in Jesus. He has all the resources for you to live a life of freedom and abundance.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10
Don’t just settle for “good days”.
“For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you’” (Isaiah 41:13).
May I take a moment to say a simple prayer for you?
“Lord Jesus, I pray for the dear soul that is reading this right now and is in need of healing. I pray that they would be assured that you have not abandoned them and that this post was written as a way for you to speak to their heart! I pray that you would direct their steps to someone who would hold their hand through this process of healing. Please, Lord, set them free from the bondage that this specific event has tied them with. Soften their heart to receive full healing and restoration in You. In Jesus’ name I ask. Amen.”
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